Rebuilding love-addiction relationship boundaries means working with our boundary-making mind.
When we look closely into our lives, we see we are made up of thousands of “non-self” elements. Such things as water, earth, and air. The same constituents make up the ocean and sky, even the sun.
All part of our common embodied heritage. It is easy to forget our real human condition in the heat of a moment.
We must begin to befriend ourselves.
Mindfulness is an act of personal hospitality. It is a way of learning to treat ourselves with kindness and care. It slowly percolates in the deepest recesses of our being. Gradually “others” are added.
We begin to realize that our life is just a lease. We have set up a little shop where we barely make a living sewing patches on torn clothing.
Yet only a few feet underneath are two veins of pure bright gold. We need a pick-axe.
What does the patch-sewing mean you ask. Eating and drinking. The heavy cloak of the body is always getting torn.
Trying to fill our emptiness with meaning from outside ourselves is like pouring water into the ocean to make it wet.
We patch it with food and drink, and other restless ego-satisfactions. Anything to lessen our existential anguish.
But, if you rip up one board from the shop floor and look into your basement. You’ll see two glints in the dirt. Pure gold.
We need a new venue. A Mindful Awareness Pick Axe. Meditation.