Brittany Murphy Death Inspires Film Maker To Find The Real Cause Of Addiction
by Rene Eram
(Los Angeles, Ca)
My name is Rene Eram and I have been studying and researching addiction and recovery for over 15 years.
I have been clean and sober since August 1st 1987. I live between Los Angeles and Idyllwild, California.
Over my years of sobriety, I have created and taught a series of workshops on recovery, codependency, core personality retrieval and spirituality for addicts in all self help programs.
I am also a film maker, a writer/director, and have worked in the film business for many years.
In 2009 I was in pre-production as the writer/director on my indie film project.
Just before filming began my lead actress suddenly passed away. Her name was Brittany Murphy. I have lost many friends and family over the years to addiction but Brittany Murphy's death motivated me more that ever to uncover and discover the real cause of addiction and the solutions needed for the strongest recovery process.
Here are some of the questions I have spent several years researching.
What creates addiction and where does it come from? Why do some people become addicts and others don't?
Why do some addicts become full blown in their teen years and others later in life? Why are addicts in denial about their addiction? What can someone do to help an addict they love?
Why does an addict lose complete control of their substance or behavior use? Why does addiction progress and lead to insanity and death? Does an addict love his addiction more than his loved ones?
Why does an addict destroy their entire life for a substance or behavior? And finally...what is the cure or strongest treatment for recovery?
Before I could answer any of these questions, I designed several integrated educational workshops on recovery, codependency, core personality retrieval and spirituality.
These would be my tools to research, explore and build my addiction model.
During several of my educational workshops on relationships, spirituality and codependency, I started noticing many addicts with long term sobriety had very little awareness or understanding of their unconscious, codependency patterns and behavior.
This opened a new door and exposed deeper patterns that I believe have not been revealed or discovered. Through my continual workshops and spiritual exploration I have discovered in the addicts deep unconscious a pattern I have named "the addicts loop".
The “addict's loop” is created by two maladaptive codependency roles, conditioned and learned during child/teen years, the “controlling codependent” and the “needy dependent”. These two roles create an unconscious trauma bond, revolving door attraction to each other of ...
"Longing - Connection - Love Bond - Euphoric High/Fix - Reveal - Rejection - Longing - Abandonment - Non Existence".
An example of this progression would be a child on a roller coaster that goes around the "addict's loop". On the left side of the addict's loop the child obsesses and dishonestly performs for the connection, love bond and "euphoric high/fix" to feel accepted, received and loved. This left side could be considered the bright, "sunny side" of the loop filled with hope and promise.
After the roller coaster reaches the peak and creates the love bond and "euphoric high/fix", at some point it will continue down the right side of the addict's loop and enter a dark, scary tunnel. As the child enters the dark tunnel, they close their eyes and deny that the scary tunnel exists. The child is overwhelmed and afraid to confront the terrifying dark tunnel, and instead creates an unconscious reservoir of repressed anger, fear and emotional pain. After leaving the scary tunnel, the child's fear and obsession and the child's desire to seek their love bond and "euphoric high/fix" fuels the child's journey back up through the "sunny side" of the loop for another go-around.
During several of my workshops on codependency, core personality retrieval and spirituality, I discovered that...addicts have both dependent and codependent roles conditioned and fixed in their unconscious mind.
An example would be
to imagine two high-tech machines, standing opposite to each other in the addict's unconscious, that create the “addict's loop” between them 24/7.
The addict rotates between the two codependency roles, creating the “addict's loop”, where obsession unconsciously motivates to re-experience their "euphoric high/fix" and block out their "rejection and abandonment", replacing it with repressed fear, anger and emotional pain. As long as the addict rotates between these two dishonest codependency roles, they will remain trapped in the revolving door pattern of addiction.
With a "one split" codependency relationship, the dependent gravitates to the codependent and vise versa. The "addict's loop" is between the couple and can give the illusion of addiction during the relationship. When the relationship ends, the addict's loop "idles" and control can be re-established. With addiction, the highly charged "addict's loop" has been "permanently conditioned" in the addict's unconscious mind.
The addict rotates, half blind, between two false worlds trying to find their way back home
Codependent and Dependent "Rotators". I have nicknamed addicts rotators. The addict can rotate equally between the codependent and dependent roles. Usually, one of the codependency roles will dominate the addict's personality, while the other takes a back seat position. I believe the more dominate role is the one that has experienced the most fear of survival during the conditioning years but each role can unconsciously gravitate and become the dominant personality. The rotating trigger usually happens when either role connects in the present with a similar codependency experience from their child/teen conditioning years.
Progression: As the unconscious repressed "past and present" unidentifiable "pain load" surfaces, in the “addict's loop”, the more "euphoric high/fix" is needed to deny, escape and numb. The addict begins "straight arming" the unconscious "pain load" with substance and behavior use. This becomes the progressive pattern of the "addict's loop". When the repressed, collective "pain load" finally dominates the "euphoric high/fix", the "addict's loop" continues sending an unconscious message to seek the "euphoric high/fix", even though there's no "euphoric high" experience.
The Biochemical Loop
For generations the "addict's loop" of...
“Longing - Connection - Love Bond - Euphoric High/Fix - Reveal - Rejection - Longing - Abandonment - Non Existence"
...has been unconsciously communicated to the human biology, that can create an analogous "Biochemical Loop" of...
"Craving - Preparation - Connection - Euphoric High/Fix - Withdrawal - Detox - Craving - Abandonment - Depression"
Similar to the "addict's loop", the "biochemical loop", is obsessive and aware of the left side, “craving, preparation, connection, "euphoric high/fix” and also blocks out the right “denial” side, “withdrawal, detox, craving, abandonment, depression”. This can explain why the addict blindly protects and makes excuses for their substance and behavior use and why they deny and block the right side withdrawal, detox, depression, hangover and experience it as something new and disturbing each time. The addict attempts to maintain and keep the "euphoric high/fix", unconsciously avoiding and escaping the right side of the loop's withdrawal, detox and depression.
When the "addict's loop" creates or finds the predisposed "biochemical loop"... an addict is created.
Toward insanity and death
Over time, the right side's collective, "unidentifiable" pain load of repressed anger, fear, emotional pain, abuse and trauma" becomes more powerful than the "awareness side" and "euphoric high/fix".
An example would be an alcoholic at the late stages of the chronic disorder continuing to drink alcohol even though they do not experience any "euphoric high/fix".
The addict's substance or behavior loses the ability to create the "euphoric high/fix" or an escape stronger than their powerful, collective "pain load". In the end, the emotionally numb addict mechanically uses with no "euphoric high/fix". The addict is completely dominated by their unconscious "addict's loop" and surfacing unidentifiable "pain load", which trumps the "euphoric high/fix" and walks the addict toward insanity and death unless the addict breaks the powerful cycle.
Graphics of the addict's loop and biochemical loop can be found on my website: