Addictive-Relationships require personal awareness for recovery.
Addictive-Relationships need a personal awakening for genuine intimacy.
Addictive-Relationships are open to recovery.
Addictive-Relationships can be recovered from, but to get to the point of recovery you must survive. How do we overcome this self sabotage nightmare?
First, we have an awakening. We glimpse our life, our reality. We’ll want new coping skills and personal courage to do this.
Things aren’t quite what they seem.What we thought.How they are supposed to be. This awakening continues as we recover.
Our emerging awareness leads us to seek, and find, appropriate help. We start to deal with some of our core Addictive-Relationship issues and their underlying relationship problems.
We learn about identifying poor boundaries between adults. We learn about addiction and problems of intimacy. We learn also about unhealthy attachment and ending relationships. Self Sabotage.
Our issues are control, being over-responsible, neglecting our own needs, and fear of abandonment. We also learn about having put up with crap. And our problems in resolving conflicts from toxic relationships.
Yet, we begin to address our unhealthy neediness issues. We learn to let go and let God.
With safe and accepting people we tell our Addictive-Relationships “love story.” We get to hear our own story first hand.
Intimacy issues are exposed and clarified. Our feelings are the result of how we perceive ourselves. Addictive-Relationships can be amended, suspended, attended, and up-ended.
By risking we are awakening. We grow to awareness and freedom. We learn we can genuinely share our real self with safe people whom we trust. We realize we want and need genuine intimacy. We want relationship compatibility.
Addictive-Relationships means you can get wounded from risking. But, if we commit to work through our pain “and grieving,” we then begin to share, participate, and experience our suffering.
Sometimes we get angry. But we begin to let go. And that includes our addicted anger.
The psychological suffering of addictive-relationships is a waste of time. It is pointless, a cruel form of self sabotage, and above all deceptive. It is unnecessary pain.
We just think the pain is part of life, but, there is always a choice. Real genuine intimacy is possible. You need never surrender to any wave of helplessness that leaves you feeling sorry for being alive.
That is self sabotage pure and simple.
Some of our relationships are a desperate search for happiness that is simply the continuation of unhappiness. Happiness is never driven to look for itself. It Is Itself.
In the darkness, see the stars.
Destructive Relationships’ mental or emotional suffering takes place only when you become fixed in the partial. Break your temporary focus and pull back from yourself.
The wider you can expand your inner-view, the less disturbed you‘ll be by what you may be seeing. You are not who you think you are.
When you stop punishing others for their weakness, you will stop punishing yourself for yours.
“As I surrendered my imaginary power over others, I gained a more realistic view of my own life.” Al-Anon
There is only one person who can assure you get the nurturing that you need. That person is you.
Don’t stand out in the storm, and blame the weather.
Don’t seek yourself. Dare to be yourself.
The only path to self-help Recovery is your next step.
Our challenge is to replace Addictive-Relationships and substance abuse illusions and attachments at the core of addictions with real life options.