one year 3 months sober
My first 3 months sober, I was still crazy with no alcohol. I wanted my marriage fixed, not the fear of being back single not living with out my wife and children. I was in Al Anon (suggested by Marriage Councilor) hating myself for the truth being shown to me in sobriety, full of anxety, remorse and FEAR.
I had always belived in God, I was brought to my knees I was doing some major praying to get my life back.
I soon started to realize in Al Anon that I may have been addicted to alcohol, I never was honest to myself about it due to I could quit for months, only to get right back to the level drinking at a short period of time.
I joined AA. I wanted sobriety, but didn't want to worship AA to get it. I found a sponsor, who had several trips in and out of AA, His last arrival in AA found a approach similar to how it was done in earlier days of AA, before meetings.
Most folks are familiar with the 12 steps. I found out soon that Alcohol wasn't my problem the problem was ME, and alcohol wasn't the only thing I was trying to fill my soul up with
I had to get down and dirty and uncover ALL the things that were blocking me from the God of my understanding. Took willingness and acceptence to turn my life over to someone else, for me it was God
I went thru the 12 steps, and do the suggestions in the Big Book. My life coming into sobriety has not changed much (Getting Divorced, My 16 yr old Still has Mental issues)I have changed, I have accepted the past, and working on making things right with those I have harmed. I live for God now, He's #1, EVERY ONE else is #2 I'm #3. I still have boundries but now with sober mind living in the moment, content where I am, I Try my best and what other people think of me is NONE of my business. ALL I CAN WORRY is about me and My Spirital Fitness, it is a much better place to be than my Fear Based Selfish Self centered living. I'm a better Father, Worker and person, when I live to help without expecting anything in return. Its not ALL easy, but the more I Trust and Rely on the God of my understanding, the easier it gets. Free yourself from your SELF, You caused Most/All your problems. Be thankful for the good in your life, Help others ( get out of self) I hope this gives someone hope, That you don't have to live in insanity. Surround you self with positive thoughts. Turn youself over to a God of your understanding