Let-Go Martians-Sabotage and the Addictions They Sustain.
Martians-Sabotage Personal Addictions Recovery.
Martians-Sabotage Your Abstinence, Sobriety, Serenty, and Spirituality.
Martians-Sabotage. Who are the Martians?
Martians are people who are close to you.
They are usually relatives. They are often spouses, partners, children, parents, or “close” friends. The issue is that they always know what is best for you. And if you don’t agree with them, they may try to sabotage your recovery or weight loss efforts.
“You don’t wanta try that Personal Addictions Recovery program. Your uncle Jebba tried it and it didn’t work for him.”
Adviser or confidante may have been the Martians role at one time in your life, but, that may be an obsolete role now. In addition, their current Martians-Sabotage relationship with you may not be one which is productive for you or your recovery.
Martians-Sabotage can eventually destroy your best weight loss or addictions recovery efforts. It may be a far better thing to Unplug and let-go their obsolete input.
The experience of recovery from addictive behavior and substance abuse, for example, alcohol abstinence or dieting/weight loss can be fraught with Martians-Sabotage.
We use the area of weight loss as an addiction example because it is one to which so many, many of us can relate.
However, although we use a special focus on weight loss/dieting to demonstrate unplugging from Martians-Sabotage.
You’ll become aware how Martians-Sabotage can affect all aspects of your recovery and life whether you are overcoming a behavior addiction or some type of substance abuse, especially alcohol.
We talk about drunk driving and the effects alcohol and drunk driving can have on your life a little later.
For example, you are probably already familiar with the many types of computer sabotage.
Also, what we often miss as personal sabotage is the withholding of needed or essential information by co-workers, business associates, and marriage or personal partners.
As we progress, think of ways that the diet sabotage can relate to other addictive situations. For example, the sharing of unnecessary damaging information.
Martians-Sabotage (along with SNUPs and Drain People) can be a real Diet Devil. They are people, places, and things which sabotage and defeat your best addictions recovery/weight loss efforts.
As we proceed, you’ll probably be able to recognize your own Martians-Sabotage in the process.
Without a doubt, obesity, like drugs and alcohol addiction, is epidemic in our country. But, you need not be responsible for the nation’s problem. First take on your own Martians-Sabotage. That will be enough trouble.
And at the same time, recognize that it is not just the Martians-Sabotage, but you, yourself, who could turn out to be a major sabotage threat to your personal addictions recovery/diet success.
Why would you sabotage your own recovery/diet?
Self-Sabotage of your own recovery/diet usually happens when you have either fear of failure or the opposite…fear of success. Possibly you have a need to sabotage yourself.
New Year’s resolutions are always so magnificent and grand. However, the bigger the plan and the more radical the intention, the more difficult it will be to meet.
Since many weight loss diets work, at least those which reduce consumed calories below physical expenditure, just as abstinence works from alcohol works, the depth of your motivation becomes the key to success.
But, if you are undermined by your own non-conscious beliefs, it will be tough, if not impossible.
Perhaps, you are leery of change. Maybe, you are more comfortable with the way you are than you are willing to admit. Or does it fit with your current life style of spending a few hours in front of the television with a some beers and the chips and dip.
Have a talk with yourself. What will be your overall health in a year if you continue as you do now? How will you feel then?
SNUPs, Martians and Drain People plague our personal attempts to Recover, Lose Weight, or Change our Ways.
Let’s explore recovery/diet Martians-Sabotage in detail.
Unplugged Addictions Recovery/Dieting
The major way Martians-Sabotage affects your life is through undermining your self-confidence. Usually this Martians-Sabotage is presented as helpfulness.
This means that those who are closer to you and have more access can have more power to affect you and your recovery/diet outcome.
Weight loss like any addictive behavior recovery is seldom easy. And when you have Martians-Sabotage it is as if you are climbing a very tall mountain with an extra backpack of supplies. No easy way up. Failure lurks all about.
And this is the case whether the sabotage is Martians-Sabotage from others or the self, Self-Sabotage.
For success at any endeavor, and especially addictions recovery/weight loss, it is essential you learn to deflect Martians-Sabotage attacks.
That is if you can not avoid them. In this, it is most important to try to deflect them as you encounter them. Do not allow the damage to accumulate.
Let’s examine Addictions Recovery/Weight-Loss/Diet Martians-Sabotage through a five step Unplug process.
1. Recognize Martians-Sabotage: who, when, where, and how.
2. Understand the “why” of sabotage.
3. Developing a Deaf Ear to sabotage.
4. Redirect and deflect sabotage.
5. Forewarned is forearmed. UNPLUG
Lets take a moment and see what some other folks say.
Ask Yourself Does The Knife In your Back Have your Finger-Prints On It?
To recognize sabotage you must SEE what is actually happening and not what you think is going on. Have no False Assumptions.
First, what is sabotage?
Sabotage is any action, verbal or otherwise, by anyone, which discourages or deflects you from your planned recovery or weight reduction goal. This includes you.
Of course, sabotage is very often from others: family, friends, and sometimes strangers. Especially strangers who have something to gain or promote by keeping you as you are. Remember, few of us like change.
Martians come in all flavors and shapes, but, their motivation for sabotage often has a common basis.
Second, understanding the why of sabotage
Each of us likes to live in a safe, familiar place we might call our comfort zone. Being able to predict the actions of the people in our sphere of operations makes us feel more comfortable.
So when others in our sphere see or hear that change is coming, their “comfort zone” can be experienced as under attack.
In response to this threat they may say to you, “I don’t know why you need to lose weight, stop drinking, using. You look great to me.” They then have put their relationship with you on the line. Are you going to challenge them?
An overweight relative said to me, “My husband likes me the way I am.”
How can your recovery/diet effort overcome such support?
A very natural response to “comfort zone” attack is to try to counter the threat of change. This is often done in a conscious way, direct or indirect. But sometimes, the attack is more subtle with an unconscious approach.
“Aw, come on, just one more. The other folks are all having another.
Your response to Martian sabotage should be a considered, objective, non-angry response.
Martians operate from a self-centered viewpoint; yet, its basis may be, as with illusions, from fear, ignorance, or even a lack of care.
Perhaps, even from jealousy because you may have recovery/weight loss success. How many times have you been “happy” someone else won the lottery?
Third: Developing a Deaf Ear to sabotage.
The Martians may certainly set your mind to working. “Maybe I should have one more. I do owe them.”
“She did fix it just for me.”
As he says, “I did fail before.”
The excuses go on and on. If these are your thoughts, then you need to change them. You need to develop a Deaf Ear to Martian sabotage.
Your success at recovery from addiction doesn’t have to affect anyone else. You are not responsible for the feelings others have.
How your healthy approach to life affects others is their problem. Don’t take it on, and don’t expect them to take on yours.
You can usually develop a Deaf Ear to verbal sabotage attempts without alienating your family, friends, or colleagues.
Certainly, some times it won’t be easy, and you’ll want to try to avoid the confrontation. Few of us want to antagonize or to constantly challenge others.
But, on the other hand, if the sabotage succeeds, then there is a good chance your addiction recovery program will not.
Worse yet, when you agree with Martians, but, your whole body and mind say no, you are generating the very Artificial Stress you want to eliminate from your life.
Your “self contained” anger just adds further stress and probably guilt to your problems. Recovery failure is certainly not far away. You must UNPLUG. And you must UNPLUG NOW.
Fourth: Redirect and Deflect Sabotage.
You want an assertive approach supported by tough love for deflecting the Martians arrows. And you can, with skill, probably stop the Martian sabotage without alienating them. If you can’t, that is a bridge you’ll have to cross. But don’t cross it until you are there.
Let’s look at an assertive example.
Your spouse or partner makes your work lunches.You want to have healthier food. Which would be better for your weight loss.
Without challenging the lunches made by the other person, you appreciate their efforts, however, to be more helpful, you offer to make your own lunches. You are being both affirmative and personally responsible.
Certainly you want to share your knowledge, recovery plan, and resolve with your family and significant others. But you want positive support not added stress from food fights.
Be assertive and positive. Seek support, not attacks, while developing a “Deaf Ear” to sabotage. Let the Martians exert their control on someone else, somewhere else. Don’t make them your problem. Let-Go, Let-God. UNPLUG.
Fifth: ARMED…Forewarned Is Forearmed.
In many, many social groups, consuming food and drink is the oil of interaction. So how are you to be armed for the avalanche of goodies? The temptations are incessant.
For weight loss, eat breakfast for sure, and keep regular meal times, if at all possible. And maintain your assertive recovery resolve. Otherwise, you’ll be a ready victim of sabotage.
A firm “no thanks” should be the only…and consistent…reply you need for all who want you to try their new recipe, drink, or drug.
And remember, expanding the “truth” to a sabotage pest is not only OK, it is to be encouraged. For example: “I have a medical condition.”…Well, doesn’t being overweight or drunk certainly qualify?
A Martian can be a spouse who stocks the refrigerator with your favorites, friends and relatives who say they support your recovery decision, but, as you see their behavior, advice, and critical remarks for what they are, you realize it is direct recovery sabotage.
When this happens, you will need your assertive recovery resolve and a practiced ready reply. It is not deceptive to say, “No thanks, I have a medical test in the morning.” You do.
That metal examiner…the scale, awaits. Patiently, for your weigh-in each day. And it is unforgiving.
How and why would we self-sabotage our own efforts to be healthy through sobriety, abstinence, or loosing our excess body weight?
Non-conscious forces contribute to our “self concept.” These beliefs, each of us have, about ourselves, built-up over long periods of time.
Our concept of “ourselves” may have accommodated the addictive behavior or weight gain and so we are comfortable with our current behavior or appearance.
Although we know we would be healthier if we stopped the addictive behavior or weighed less. But, it is me; it is the way I am. These are my non-conscious concepts of the real me. It is what I think, rather than what I can see if I choose to see!
As we asked on the Self-Sabotage screen: Does the knife, which stabs you in the back, have your prints on it?
The man who when a simple physical activity was suggested said, “It is not part of my lifestyle,” knew that physical activity was not part of his concept of who he thought he was.
He didn't need Martians-Sabotage he did it himself, Self-Sabotage.
Nor was it who he wanted to become, regardless of the consequences. The non-conscious determents of who he thinks he is, weren’t going to allow change.
In the face of this level of resistance, the knife in our back is ours, and we put it there.
You have sabotaged yourself.
The real problem as we said, may be the way you think about yourself. The beliefs you hold about who (what) you are.
So, as we said before:
How do you change your non-conscious views of your self?
Answer: You cease expectations.
You just do your recovery program regardless of the Martians, self sabotage, or any other arrows of outrageous fortune.
Still sound too simple? Well, it is just that simple. “Just do it.” And start NOW…regardless.
You must change your mental image of yourself. Start with little things first. Set small reachable goals. Regardless of how small…start NOW…and make it a part of your new behavior.
Just as no pill, patch, or powder can leave you more able to succeed on your own than when you started them. Only you can do that.